There is bubbling inside me rising panic calm pushing down rising fear serenity pushing down and I am reminded of the breaths I forgot to take as I rode the waves of birth pushing holding pressing rolling squeezing ripping no air no space no end until there was a scream. But the first time there … Continue reading Inhale…hold…2…3…
Tag: mother
If a Mother Falls to Her Knees, Does She Even Make a Sound?
Some days, like today, I wish I could just step out of it all just for a moment, long enough to catch the breath I lost somewhere between becoming Woman and becoming Mother. Some days, to be Mother is to press flat against the packed mud I left indented in my rock bottom. Some days, … Continue reading If a Mother Falls to Her Knees, Does She Even Make a Sound?
The Place Where I Belong
She calls me, breathless. "It was amazing," she panted. "I loved it. I was made for this, Ima. I need it." Patched up by the threads trailing behind her gathering into a seam sewn with every fall and knotted with each triumphant rise, my lungs fill. My hands slow their spasms. My head sweeps the … Continue reading The Place Where I Belong
Can’t I Be The Mom I Want To Be?
They told me kids grow up too soon...so I feel a little guilty right now... Because it doesn't seem soon enough to me... I don't know if I was made to pick up toys all day...have my skirt used as a tissue...field questions about witches and monsters...listen to never-ending whines about everything and anything...all as … Continue reading Can’t I Be The Mom I Want To Be?
Mother, May I?
Seven years. It's been seven years since I had some time that could be mine to do with as I please. The routine of my life consisted of pregnancies, depression, births, newborns, infants, toddlers and learning to nap when I got a chance. By the time my daughter turned three, my son was born. Â We … Continue reading Mother, May I?
Colloquially Speaking 