When you leave Orthodoxy, you leave everything behind. If you are lucky, you can find a way to anchor yourself to love. But mostly, you are tethered in place by the family that wants to accept you but believes that you cannot be accepted. I cannot imagine the anguish of a parent who can not … Continue reading When it hurts to live: leaving Orthodoxy
Do you know where You are? Have you found the place you fit? Do you like it there, between the what and the who and the when? Do you feel settled where you are? Or are you like me Floating through it all knowing that the strings that tie me in place also weigh around … Continue reading Settled
Her hand is in mine; clammy because it is hot on these streets that smell of burgers, oil, and urine. She tries to lace her fingers with mine. I pull away slightly, aware of the implications. “My mother didn’t like holding my hand,” she tells the therapist casually. “Sweaty palms triggered her.” She is old … Continue reading Time, Untethered
Some days, like today, I wish I could just step out of it all just for a moment, long enough to catch the breath I lost somewhere between becoming Woman and becoming Mother. Some days, to be Mother is to press flat against the packed mud I left indented in my rock bottom. Some days, … Continue reading If a Mother Falls to Her Knees, Does She Even Make a Sound?
The sun and moon fight above me. One circles me while I circle the other. And they disagree about time and space and light and make me wonder which of them is right. I was born after the stars had come out and the fires burned. The moon, just beginning to cycle back down in … Continue reading Sun Year, Moon Year, and Me
She calls me, breathless. "It was amazing," she panted. "I loved it. I was made for this, Ima. I need it." Patched up by the threads trailing behind her gathering into a seam sewn with every fall and knotted with each triumphant rise, my lungs fill. My hands slow their spasms. My head sweeps the … Continue reading The Place Where I Belong
They've come to kill us, these poisoned hearts. They've come to take our innocent and young. They've come to cut down our wise and wizened. They've come to slash our soft and pure. They seep into our waters across oceans and fields of tranquility. They march in step to a raging scream a hatred pulsing … Continue reading They Cannot Gun Us All
My thoughts running through the maze I hold inside my pounding skull keep me company reminding me when my eyes search for love for understanding for hope I am not alone. I am tied to the whispers the whipping post I toss over one shoulder and the never-ending scorn scraping my open wounds. … Continue reading Curtain Call
At the end of this bright tunnel of love darkness waits alone
We are first man and woman. We have created ourselves from the ribs of non-believers. We have no original sin to dictate our morals, no code passed down for generations. The string we hang from frays with every step towards the edge of this puppet stage. And this step, this leap away from tradition, this will cut the cord.