Goodbye, Cobblestone Road

This is a very painful post for me to write; one that crept up over the years on occasion but willingly returned to its suppression box when I pushed it in. My husband and I have been married for over 13 years. Before our marriage, we spent intense, life-altering years with a revolving group of … Continue reading Goodbye, Cobblestone Road

Geoffrey with a G

We are sitting together on the couch and we are not paying attention to one another. We are both tired and need some time to unwind and let the stress of the day dissipate. I am reading a fluff piece and you are scrolling down our feed as we actively turn our brains off. You … Continue reading Geoffrey with a G

My Jerusalem

Your Jerusalem is so similar to my Jerusalem. Your Jerusalem glows. Your Jerusalem torments and teases. Your Jerusalem sings. Your Jerusalem loves and hates and lives in a constant state of disorder and indecision. You write about your Jerusalem and I feel connected to your experiences. I see how you touch her stones. I understand … Continue reading My Jerusalem

Daniel my Brother

His name jumps out of the screen at me the moment my husband walks into the room. He sees what I see... "I know," he says.  "I was just coming to tell you." My head falls into my hand for a moment as the familiar pain of loss washes over me. Another one bites the … Continue reading Daniel my Brother

Resentment Is

a thread weaving in and out of lives pulling back into childhood where it waits to be addressed. You run forward as fast as you can trying desperately to rip away from that poor pathetic child who only wanted what he deserved. So now you sit in resentment and resist the urge to cry as that … Continue reading Resentment Is

Dying To Forget

Sometimes, late at night when I should be asleep, I remember. I remember how I used to be…when things were bad…when I was a bad little girl… And I wonder…if I could talk to her…what would I say? I should say…the things I was taught to say to her… I’m so sorry you’re hurting. It’s … Continue reading Dying To Forget

A Tribute

She turned around at the door.  “Hey - did you know R?” I shook my head, but then again, I barely remember anyone from back then. My husband dug into his vast memory of names and faces and found her there, somewhere between rehab and that long year of sobriety. “Of course I remember her.  … Continue reading A Tribute

Well, It’s About Time I Got Around To This…

We talked about that one place in my heart that I can’t get over.  It comes up occasionally.  We talk it over a bit.  He wants me to try to find a solution.  I usually nod my head and try to forget again. This time it’s sticking to the walls of my brain, begging me … Continue reading Well, It’s About Time I Got Around To This…

Oh The Places I’ve Come From

“Cleveland, Cleveland, convention in Cleveland….Convention ‘97 will last forever……” Ringing in my ears as an unwanted memory, the BY Convention song my mother wrote fourteen years ago plays in my head like a broken record.  I guess she got it right - about it lasting forever and ever and ever…but how I wish it would … Continue reading Oh The Places I’ve Come From