It feels selfish to say how I feel, to let the world know that I am melting when the world is barely holding on. But...do you need to have a sense of self to be selfish? Is it selfish if I am losing track of me and all the parts I thought I was made … Continue reading Isolation
Inhale…hold…2…3…
There is bubbling inside me rising panic calm pushing down rising fear serenity pushing down and I am reminded of the breaths I forgot to take as I rode the waves of birth pushing holding pressing rolling squeezing ripping no air no space no end until there was a scream. But the first time there … Continue reading Inhale…hold…2…3…
When it hurts to live: leaving Orthodoxy
When you leave Orthodoxy, you leave everything behind. If you are lucky, you can find a way to anchor yourself to love. But mostly, you are tethered in place by the family that wants to accept you but believes that you cannot be accepted. I cannot imagine the anguish of a parent who can not … Continue reading When it hurts to live: leaving Orthodoxy
Settled
Do you know where You are? Have you found the place you fit? Do you like it there, between the what and the who and the when? Do you feel settled where you are? Or are you like me Floating through it all knowing that the strings that tie me in place also weigh around … Continue reading Settled
Time, Untethered
Her hand is in mine; clammy because it is hot on these streets that smell of burgers, oil, and urine. She tries to lace her fingers with mine. I pull away slightly, aware of the implications. “My mother didn’t like holding my hand,” she tells the therapist casually. “Sweaty palms triggered her.” She is old … Continue reading Time, Untethered
Colloquially Speaking 