Describe yourself, they say.
Make them understand who you are. Use words that paint a picture. Dig deep inside and express your qualities with letters and spaces. Get them to understand you.
So, I try. I close my eyes and I dig and dig and dig.
In the process, I throw aside the obvious and the mundane.
My age, that’s a given. No one can gather anything from that.
My looks are ever changing. There is no defining feature that will tell you who I am besides my eyes, and they are hidden behind unremarkable frames.
My character leaves much to be desired. I do not want to place myself in the box it builds around me.
My talents are gifts I do not use for the right reasons.
I keep digging.
My hands get dirty as the shovel of my mind tosses words, piling them up around me.
Suddenly, I hit something hard.
The words come crashing through in an avalanche of emotions that hit me, leaving me breathlessly stunned.
Mother of two.
The box is opened and the descriptive words begin to flow, picking up speed with every letter.
My daughter is a gorgeous, vivacious three-year old with an active imagination. She loves to dance, is extremely musical and her little feet are constantly tapping out a beat. She hums while she eats, bathes and sits on the toilet. When she colors, she slants her head in the opposite direction of the paper. She bites her lip when she’s concentrating. She stands up and shouts a sincere thank you to Hashem when she prepares to eat. She adores pretty things and always picks flowers for the people she loves. She tells me when she’s happy or sad and is quick to warn others of what is dangerous, as well as reassure me when she’s safe. She has beautiful, long lashes framing big eyes that never seem to close, even while she’s asleep. She talks in her sleep in two languages and says the most intuitive things when awake. She is a sought after friend and tends to play the caregiver in her relationships. She is a superb actor, fiercely independent and a staunch advocate for the less fortunate. She loves animals, is an avid bug-watcher and has an affinity for rhinoceroses. She skips when she walks to the park and trudges home despondently when playtime is over. She shuts down when faced with a harsh tone and thrives on anything gentle; gentle touch, gentle sound and gentle people. Her disposition is like her name, strong and fierce mixed with soft and pure. She processes information quickly and thirsts for knowledge. She is a marvelous being who provides me with endless amounts of joy and gratitude.
My son is but a babe. He is soft, sweet and wondrous. In the two months since his birth he has transformed an entire family unit. He constantly kicks his legs and throws his arms about, itching to run. He does not complain and is inherently patient. He makes sweet noises while he eats. He smiles wide and laughs silently at the angels dancing over my shoulders. His eyes are big, round and hungry as he takes in the world around him. He is quickly distracted and notices everything. Music sooths him and he is easily appeased. He is both simply unassuming and intrinsically complex. He is adoring and wants nothing more than to feel the love he evokes in me wrap around him in a cocoon of warmth and security.
And I, I am their mother.