Curtain Call

My thoughts running through the maze I hold inside my pounding skull keep me company reminding me when my eyes search for love for understanding for hope I am not alone.   I am tied to the whispers the whipping post I toss over one shoulder and the never-ending scorn scraping my open wounds.   … Continue reading Curtain Call

Sometimes, I Cry Alone in the Night

My previous post touched on the journey my family has been on together. Although we are currently on the same page, my husband and I took different paths and followed forks in the road that sometimes seemed like they would never meet. After the birth of our son, I felt so disconnected from Judaism and lost in … Continue reading Sometimes, I Cry Alone in the Night

Dry eyes

My grandmother ran out of Poland towards Russia with only the summer clothes she was wearing and spent the next five years seeking warmth in a world that had frozen over. I was raised on her story, as well as all the stories of my generation’s grandparents. We were their proof that it had been … Continue reading Dry eyes

Flutters

The sun is setting.  It is time. I strike the match.  I light the flame. I cry. I need to light the other candles now.  The ones to bring in Shabbat. And pray for my family; my husband and my children...all my children... So I strike another match. I light one...two...three...four candles. Four candles to … Continue reading Flutters

Forgiveness

The tears won’t stop. They fall…without my permission…as I try to understand why my mind isn’t letting me process this. It’s just a damn apology, I tell myself.  Accept it.  Just take it and let it all go. But something is holding me back. I call my husband… I tell him through sobs…and he gets … Continue reading Forgiveness

When Conflict Strikes Its Weary Head

So this guy walks up to another guy at a bus stop. Guy at the bus stop is on his way to a rehearsal for some sort of theater group…he’s creative and fun that way. And this guy likes to let loose because he lives in the heart of a conflict and it’s good to … Continue reading When Conflict Strikes Its Weary Head

Dying To Forget

Sometimes, late at night when I should be asleep, I remember. I remember how I used to be…when things were bad…when I was a bad little girl… And I wonder…if I could talk to her…what would I say? I should say…the things I was taught to say to her… I’m so sorry you’re hurting. It’s … Continue reading Dying To Forget

Broken

The anthem for the broken people is part song, part chant, part silence. It has no rhythm. No rhyme. No pattern. It has highs and lows and in-betweens. Sometimes, it’s one, clear thought. Most times, it’s a long rambling journey like the one they told you once you would have to take until you would … Continue reading Broken

Flames

The flames are dancing again. They sway softly, reaching up just enough to reveal blues and greens before settling down into the rhythm of orange fused with a yellow-white, burning my eyes as I stare. There is a sudden leap in my heart as one little flame tries to escape and jumps off its wick … Continue reading Flames