She calls me, breathless. "It was amazing," she panted. "I loved it. I was made for this, Ima. I need it." Patched up by the threads trailing behind her gathering into a seam sewn with every fall and knotted with each triumphant rise, my lungs fill. My hands slow their spasms. My head sweeps the … Continue reading The Place Where I Belong
We are first man and woman. We have created ourselves from the ribs of non-believers. We have no original sin to dictate our morals, no code passed down for generations. The string we hang from frays with every step towards the edge of this puppet stage. And this step, this leap away from tradition, this will cut the cord.
Misconception hides around the corner from me as I navigate through alleys of my heart. Usually, it leaps out just after I pass, falling flat on the broken pavement behind me while I focus on what lies ahead. Sometimes I feel wind move behind me, rustling hairs I've shaved off the back of my neck. … Continue reading Misconception
It is ugly, this beauty. It aches in a way that tastes of bile. The light reflecting off the wall shines a spotlight on the pain...the empty feeling where feeling should be...her presence missing from the picture. Dusk. The in-between. Where the day is and isn't. Starting and beginning...the pause between the two. I am … Continue reading Paused.
We stand under the canopy separated by the discomfort we feel at the display. You are wearing the uniform of a team you don't really play for. Your hair is cut according to someone else's taste. Even your shoes are a stranger's style. I am in white for the first time in my life. My … Continue reading 13 Years
I am sitting on a flimsy plastic chair and I don’t think it can possibly hold my shaking body a second longer. My palms are sweaty. My heart is beating faster than my chest can contain it and I know I will burst. And then there she is. She stands on the stage. She comes … Continue reading Quiet.
It has been one year…one entire year… It has been one year since I gave up trying to sleep and sat up in bed at 5:00 in the morning with words writing themselves out in my head as I formed the pain we were all feeling into letters...words...sentences that maybe, somehow might express the choking … Continue reading One Year
I am sitting in the room that has become your shrine. Your picture is everywhere I look. Your art hugs the walls. Your space is tangibly empty. This room holds a lifetime...it beats for an eternal second...it loses its breath and dies every day you are not in it... I am sitting here and I … Continue reading A Moment in Time
This feeling…this sad feeling…covers me like a blanket…suffocating me slowly. It is not a new feeling…it is an anticipated one. Do not project…they told me…do not lose faith in humanity…you can never know the outcome…you can never know for sure. So I tried not to project…not to expect to be hurt… But I am not … Continue reading Broken Grief
“Ok, ok,” she said in what I think might have been an annoyed kind of tone. “I’ll show you how. Come downstairs later and you can watch me. But I don’t know amounts…just watch…just watch.” Later, I watched. Her tiny hands, even smaller because of the arthritis that kept her fingers curling in, worked at … Continue reading A Poppy Seed Cookie