Doing Something

For 515 days, my sister and I shared my Facebook profile picture, smiling to the world from a little circle above my name. My cover photo was taken that time we went to Jerusalem and she posed with my children on Yoel Solomon Street. 515 days ago I sat down and looked through all my pictures … Continue reading Doing Something

Paused.

It is ugly, this beauty. It aches in a way that tastes of bile. The light reflecting off the wall shines a spotlight on the pain...the empty feeling where feeling should be...her presence missing from the picture. Dusk. The in-between. Where the day is and isn't. Starting and beginning...the pause between the two. I am … Continue reading Paused.

How Are You?

How is she?  They ask, everywhere I go. Sometimes I answer. It's hard.  They're trying something new.  We still don't know. And sometimes I don't. Fine, thank god. They want to know news, they want to know progress...they want to know black and white. I confide in some. I deflect others. Mostly, I seethe. I … Continue reading How Are You?

Father, I Dare For Fear

I am sitting in the white van with the red stripe.  I am apprehensive and a little confused.  I do not know what is going on, only that for weeks there has been a nervousness to my father that came with anxious phone calls and whispered unknowns. The twenty-minute drive in the gloomy Ohio spring … Continue reading Father, I Dare For Fear