Age has been on my mind.
It’s natural, I suppose. Birthdays do bring about such thoughts.
My thoughts on growing old are mixed. I am unlike most people and yearn to be older. I feel so incredibly young and inexperienced. I have barely lived my life. Half of the third of my expected lifespan was lived unproductively, and the other half was just to give me the basics on humanhood. I’m a baby and boy, do I hate that thought.
I want to grow up already. I want to nod knowingly at other people’s growing pains. I want to be respected for my life’s experience. I want to be a matriarch of something or other. I want to have written a book, painted a masterpiece and contributed greatly to society. I guess I want it all to be over already.
Sounds bleak, I know. But I don’t mean it that way truly. I mean that I want something so bad but maybe not bad enough to work for it.
Life is going to take me where it will, and I’m going to do my best to grow old gradually and gracefully. I will age over time and one day, without even realizing it, I’ll end up there.
Meanwhile, I’m young and inexperienced. But hell, I know who Pat Boone is.
That should count for something.