Memories of a Disenchanted Past – Part 4

There’s a table at the front of the room.  It is set up as a stage and the Rebbe is demonstrating how to take three steps back for Shemone Esrei.

It is very confusing for him.  He doesn’t really understand what’s going on.

He grows bored with the lesson and soon begins to fidget.  His foot shakes and his head turns from side to side.  His eyes are drawn to the man on the table.  He watches the legs intently and begins to wonder at their length.  He had never noticed them before.

Now, there is something else happening.  He is not following.  He wants to get up and move around.  Before he knows it, he’s out of his seat, heading for the books in the back of the room.  He suddenly realizes where he is, but it is too late.  He sits back down and closes his eyes in anticipation.

The blow comes harder than he had expected.

Tears escape his clenched lids.  He looks up at the towering figure.

“Those crocodile tears will get you nowhere,” it growls.

The shame washes over him.  He sits in his chair, alone and afraid, avoiding the eyes of the others.

He turns inward and imprints the image of those long legs on the wall that surrounds his heart.

It will stay there, guarding the memories that are too painful to bear, forevermore.

2 thoughts on “Memories of a Disenchanted Past – Part 4

  1. Argh. I get sooo worked up every time i hear of an adult hitting. and rebbeim doing it oy vey… i just hate them… so passionately


    1. you have to understand that this was over twenty years ago….i don’t think it’s as common now as it was then…especially after the exposure by mechanchim about this issue..but it is something to get worked up about


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