The Hardest Thing

i’m sitting here all alone a burning in my brain
i’m all out of options, things just seem insane
i cannot run away again, i have to face the truth
i have no other choices, got nothing left to lose
so many memories running through my head
some send me spinning, others drive me mad
as i stare down at my life’s true love my eyes begin to tear
i throw it all away and my heart is full of fear
i take a walk around in a world i never knew
my fantasies had hidden things i never thought were true
i’m frightened to the core, i look but i can’t see
i don’t know who i am, only who i don’t want to be
they tell me i survived, it all seems too unreal
and i don’t understand them, i don’t know how to feel
they say that they’re all smiling, yet all i see are frowns
they’re flooding my whole world, i know i’m gonna drown
i talk about my new life when all i think is death
each day i say a silent prayer ‘please take away my breath’
if this is my rebirth then where’s my second time
to die and to re-bury my burnt out tired mind
i’m going through the motions, i’m acting out the part
i can smile now and then, i pretend to have a heart
deep down inside something wants to be free
i know that if i hear it i’ll finally be me
but i’m so afraid…….
it’s hard to fight the urges and really say goodbye
it’s hard to let the tears fall and to recognize a lie
it’s hard to make real friends and learn just how to give
but the hardest thing of all
is learning how to

One thought on “The Hardest Thing

  1. You are awesome. So amazing to see this explored… Its been ten years… More…. Since I could talk about this part on life… It’s considered so taboo now that we are married, children, religious etc. you are lucky your husband is with ou on this, mine was always “good”, and hell listen to me and really try to understand, bu jus doesn’t really get it, finds it a drop …. Uncomfortable? Distasteful?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s