I could do what you asked and write you a letter with all the things I’ve ever said to help you on your journey…but then it would just be another time I told you so…and I don’t want to tell you so anymore.
Instead, I’m going to put this out here…where it might not get to you right away…where you might have to think to look for it…and I’ll tell you what I really think.
I think you’re afraid. Not of the past…not of the demons you cuddle with at night…but of the future…the future where you need to dispose of the past and acknowledge who you are and what you’ve done.
I think you are less fragile than what you want others to think of you.
I think your strength is the one thing you have tried to throw away so that you wouldn’t have to move mountains.
I think you have a massive heart that beats to an extraordinary rhythm you have not yet learned to sync with the brain you sometimes pretend is deficient.
I think you know how to love but hate how it feels.
I think you despise the word potential because it means those using it don’t really understand what you already posses.
I think you think you know all of this…and maybe you do…but I know you never let yourself feel any of it.
And so this is the only piece of advice I can give you.
Feel it all.
and the hope.
Feel it all.
And then come home to me, and tell me you told me so.