words from the soul
I am walking around the cul-de-sac, restless, hot, and numb. They are all inside the house where she grew up, the house that was never my home, and they are mourning in various groups of togetherness. My mother holds court, repeating stories over and over as her scratchy throat resists, and her voice fades to … Continue reading Shiva
This wasn't meant to be a shrine. I built a reflective pool where I could graze my fingers across a still surface and watch the ripples until they fade back into the unspoken stillness of a million words. This was to be exploratory. Step into the darkness of my ever swirling thoughts. Who am I? … Continue reading Ten Minutes Between Death and Burial
Dearly Beloved, One day I will die. I won't be here to tell you what that means to me. So I write this in the shadow of Death, lurking over my shoulder as he pauses his busy, busy work long enough to say hello. He and I are friends, you know. When I die, you … Continue reading When Death Comes for Me
The flutters intensify every year as we light the last candle. Eight flames burning is the signal; the moment we start counting down the week until our baby’s birthday, three days before his death. This year, my womb contracted wildly with the news of another boy torn from his mother too early… too violently. I held my … Continue reading Mourning my Son with no Name
Every year, I would sit down during the three weeks and write. I always wrote about pain and suffering, the land of Israel and the idea of redemption. I couldn't run away from relating to the entire period so intensely and savagely. Fearfully. There was always an element of fear that flowed through my emotions. … Continue reading Letting Grief out to Play
Colloquially Speaking 