words from the soul
The flutters intensify every year as we light the last candle. Eight flames burning is the signal; the moment we start counting down the week until our baby’s birthday, three days before his death. This year, my womb contracted wildly with the news of another boy torn from his mother too early… too violently. I held my … Continue reading Mourning my Son with no Name
There is a soundtrack to my life. There are an endless amount of lyrics and tunes stored in my brain and the second something happens that triggers a feeling, a song begins to play. Today, I heard the White Lion ballad stirring around as I listened to an audio clip of children crying out for … Continue reading When the Children Cry
I guess I'm a grown-up now, I think, as I sit here translating her words in my head, then translating my words before I stumble them out of my mouth and into the air where they embarrass me by screaming out "FOREIGNER" in this big room that can't possibly hold the emotions she so casually … Continue reading Grown-up
They told me kids grow up too soon...so I feel a little guilty right now... Because it doesn't seem soon enough to me... I don't know if I was made to pick up toys all day...have my skirt used as a tissue...field questions about witches and monsters...listen to never-ending whines about everything and anything...all as … Continue reading Can’t I Be The Mom I Want To Be?
Seven years. It's been seven years since I had some time that could be mine to do with as I please. The routine of my life consisted of pregnancies, depression, births, newborns, infants, toddlers and learning to nap when I got a chance. By the time my daughter turned three, my son was born. We … Continue reading Mother, May I?
Colloquially Speaking 