I don’t have any friends.
I had a best friend when I was young, and although we thought we’d be friends forever, life happened and we’re now Facebook friends.
There was a time when I had lots of friends. In fact, I was part of a few different groups of people and built very strong relationships with lots of guys. Yup, guys. That’s the problem.
I don’t want to get into the whole idea of a girl being “one of the guys” and whether or not that can possibly be true, or debate the existence of platonic relationships. The fact is, I was surrounded by people who cared for me and for whom I cared for very deeply.
After a few years, my groups of friends filtered out a few stragglers, lost some members to religion, lost other members to a lack of religion, and eventually congealed together to form one, strong, familial bond.
We were a band of brothers, plus a sister, for quite some time. We shared in each others triumphs and encouraged growth as a unit. We spoke of the past and hashed out the present. Mostly, we looked forward to a future brightened by the friendships formed.
I got married first.
I had always said that the only way I’d be able to keep my friends was if I married one of them.
I did marry my friend, but someone who wasn’t really enmeshed in our little circle.
My friends were wonderful in their welcome. He was treated as a brother, and they all came to our wedding and danced with him as brothers do.
And then, it fizzled out. Just like that. There were no goodbyes, no practical conversations to discuss how to make it work. It was over.
When we lost the baby, they all called. They still felt my pain and cared for me so much, we just weren’t friends anymore.
I understand the difficulties they must have had relating to be as a married woman, and even more when they each subsequently got married. It’s hard to explain me to another girl, and I’m sure it was easier to just move on. But I missed them.
Lately, I’ve been feeling the lack of friendship in my life.
My husband and I have been falling into the roles of parents. Although we are still so close, our days are mostly revolved around caring for our children and running out household. He will always be my best friend, but maybe, just maybe, I need a bit more.
So I’m on the market for a friend. A girlfriend.
The question is, how does one go about a friendship with a girl?